What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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