Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
