her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I need a burrito and a hug.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
