Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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