i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
