I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
