thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
