I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
