i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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