that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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