I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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