if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
