my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize