Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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