Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
