I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
