he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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