I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
