sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
