I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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