i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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