I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
worst night to have a conscience
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
