Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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