yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
