hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize