He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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