Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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