What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
