I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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