It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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