I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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