Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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