U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
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