I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize