Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Two words: blizzard sex
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
