Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
