It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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