i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
