i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have fence marks all over my body
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
