i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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