When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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