just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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