Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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