Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize