trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
