P.S. I can't hear my feet
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
