you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My balls are so social today.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
