We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
