Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
