Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
