Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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