the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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