HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
