how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
