it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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