So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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