My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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