Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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