See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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