you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
