I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
