This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That accounts for only three of the penises
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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