And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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