I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
