the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
