just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
