1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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