I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
