who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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