You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
