You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
