If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
