I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
