That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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