did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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