Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
