Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
