She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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