is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
