Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize