but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
