And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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